just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
