I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
