I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
