Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Barsexuality is the new black.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
