i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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