thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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