I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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