My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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