I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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