I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
