Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Still dying that you shit outside
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
