I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
