she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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