FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
