Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
