he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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