ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
