Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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