There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
