yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
