Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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