Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Cover your peen. We're going out.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
