Do you still have your period?
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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