i think my mom watched the whole time
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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