Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
