Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Can you bring me the toilet please
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
