We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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