Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
