Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
