She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
he just fucked me for my cheese..
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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