What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
