i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the night ended with taco bell and tears
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
whose parrot is this?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
