To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
