She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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