Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
