I'm really into asian looking animals
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
