No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
