I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
