sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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