What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
