So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I lost the right to judge tonight
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
