stop calling my apartment porn island.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
