Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
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