It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
