It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
