You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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