Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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