is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
