Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
