I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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