Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
