A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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